There are many definitions of the word…
average
- The arithmetic mean, the value arrived at by adding the quantities in a series and dividing the total by their number
- Something, as a type, number, quantity, or degree that represents a midpoint between extremes on a scale of valuation
- Of moderately good quality, but less than excellent
- Being of no special quality or type; ordinary, acceptable
- To be expected; common
When did this rating system apply to human beings? Aren’t we much more than objects or mathematical equations? Furthermore, when did our opinions of others become fact?
Opinion is subjective. How a person sees an event, music, or fashion can be based on many things. One’s history, religion, and/or culture. In the case of romantic love, because of the emotional element, we are more likely to choose what we know. What we are comfortable with.
More often than not we are unaware of why we choose someone to love or who we let love us.
If we grew up in a negative environment, negativity is what we will be drawn to and attract to us. Likewise, if we grew up in a positive one. We equate what we experienced as a child with what we are worthy of when it comes to matters of the heart.
Beauty Is Temporary
When I think of the word “average,” I think of the middle. Neither lacking or nor having an excess of, in other words “just right.”
So, why did that word grate on me so badly?
I’ve been an average looking person all my life. I will be until the day I die, but really, who cares!
Beauty is temporary whether it be genetics or surgical enhancement. When it’s gone, what matters will be what’s left. The good you did in the world. The people you loved and inspired, and the people who loved you for you.
Keep in mind that the people who are rating you, the ones who feel the need to tell you how lacking you are, are really talking about themselves.
Choices
So, the goal became how do I understand myself? What are my motivations and intentions when it comes to my choices? What did my holding on to hurtful words, and making them my own beliefs about myself, say about me?
My error was in thinking that my physical attributes or lacking thereof, would be the well from which I drew my confidence. Believing that others determined my worth was an emotional roller coaster that I needed to get off!
Looking good on the outside is great, don’t get me wrong. However, insecurity and dissatisfaction will set in if you allow someone else, including strangers, the power to determine your value at any given moment.
Beauty is not an accomplishment, or a blessing, it is just a circumstance. Nobody chooses who to be born from. Being born beautiful does not mean that you are more deserving, special, or more important than those of us that are not.
So, here it is. You have the choice to believe someone’s estimation of you, which is a projection of their own insecurities. Or, to understand that they don’t have that power over you…unless you surrender it to them.
“…finding out what works and doesn’t work in life has a lot to do with understanding ourselves. It isn’t enough to examine the hearts and minds of others; we must examine our own, as well.”
T.D. Jakes, Instinct, page 185
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