Reflecting on my reflection…
I ask myself, am I the me that I see or the person that I think others see?
Looking through my eyes what I see can be independent of how I feel. I could feel great and upon looking in the mirror think that I don’t look so hot. Or think that I look amazing and then later see a picture of myself taken at that high moment and then feel not so great about my appearance any longer.
So, if I feel happy, insecure, anxious, angry, it doesn’t matter what I look like. My reflection is inconsequential even when I’m happy. What I feel is not always what I see. And what I see shouldn’t change how I feel.
A wise woman once told me “It’s not how you look it’s how you feel.”
In The Eye of the Beholder
In the past I looked through my husband’s eyes and let him decide how I should feel about who I was, what I looked like, and what I needed to improve on. Now, I see that he was projecting and that he had no idea on how to heal and love himself.
What I look like is of the world. How I feel at any given moment is of my soul.
When I’m grounded other people feel it. When I’m stuck in his version of me, I feel like an island where I can’t leave and no one else can land on.
If beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, that just means that I have that superpower too. What I think is beautiful will transform into something beautiful, even me.
Being Beautiful
I think of beauty much like I think of ugly: it’s an action. People can have ugly attitudes or make ugly comments. So, if a person can act ugly, why can’t they act beautiful?
Being beautiful should mean confidence, intelligence, compassion, humor, kindness, patience and so on. True beauty should be a person’s soul in action. Physical beauty fades. real beauty is remembered.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of individuals in the world who love the parts of people. Not so much the person. So, they never get enough of these parts simply because there is an unlimited supply everywhere. However, when you love a person’s soul, then only that person will do. No one is like them. No one can replace them.
This would explain the constant “upgrading” you see all around you. Cosmetic surgery is like a virus. But I’ll tell you if your partner didn’t see you before then they won’t see you after. They will continue to see your parts. They may even treat you better. But that is not love, honey.
The Ones That Matter
Initially, you will feel better about your appearance but that feeling will eventually fade. You will know in your heart that you are still the same person, and them loving the way you look, does not automatically mean they will suddenly love who you are.
If you changed yourself for someone else, you might wonder why these changes have not made you a happier person. It may be because you are not being loved for who you really are.
Stop wasting your time and energy on people who don’t see you. The ones that matter loved you before, loved you first, and will love you till the end.
The ones that you had to change for will just move on and find some other parts to love.
Act beautiful, be beautiful, spread beautiful.
“Beauty is no quality in things themselves, it exists merely in the mind which contemplates them.”
David Hume (1711-1776), Scotland
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