Those are funny words to say…
don’t you think? Being myself should be the easiest thing to do.
Deepak Chopra says that when we are children, things are interpreted for us. Things that will tell our futures. Like if we are not good looking or not going to be successful in life. He goes on to say that a lot of this conversation around us starts to build up a separate self. The “conditioned mind,” he calls it. Furthermore, that this separate self or conditioned mind is not who you are.
(you can find Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday session with Deepak Chopra on youtube.com. I don’t recall when I first saw the TV show on Oprah’s OWN network)
Have you ever felt uncomfortable and/or anxious when someone asked you to tell them about yourself? Or when setting up your social media profile found yourself at a loss for words?
Does a person start out knowing who they are? Is this person then molded into someone they will one day be unable to recognize? I mean, you know your spouses, friends, and siblings, habits, quirks, and tendencies, right? Why is it so hard to know who you are?
I’m Not Shy
When I was maybe nine or ten, I had just arrived at a barbeque. I immediately scoped it out and found another little girl my age and proceeded to walk up to her to ask her if she wanted to play. Unaware that the adult that I had come with was just behind me. And at the exact moment that I opened my mouth this person said, “She’s shy, she doesn’t talk.”
In that split second my voice had been stolen. Just like that, my lips were sealed.
I remember thinking to myself, “I’m not shy.” I had never felt shy up to that point. What was going on? I was so confused.
Now I wonder if that experience clipped my wings, if this person knew me more than I knew myself, or if they were projecting their own insecurities onto me and away from themselves to better cope in this social situation?
Easier Said Than Done
It takes a brave person to face themselves. Resist the urge to look through the eyes of those that claim to love you with only their words.
Love is an action.
Separate what you are being told from what you are being shown and their motives will be made clear. They see you through eyes that are influenced by their history and their experiences.
You should be the only one standing in front of that mirror. And it is important, vital really, that you look from the inside out.
Easier said than done right. Bea Arthur, actress and bad ass, once said, “I’m not playing a role. I’m being myself, whatever the hell that is.” Each, and every one of us stumbles at times. We question our worth, our purpose. No one has it all together, all the time. No one.
Look Inside
I grew up in a very traditional household. Boys did certain things and looked a certain way. Girls weren’t allowed to do certain things and were required to look a certain way. I wasn’t allowed to be me which was somewhere in the middle.
The easiest way to figure out who you are is to watch what and how you do things. Observe yourself just like you observe others. Where do you feel at ease, in your element? What do you avoid and why? What were you taught about yourself verses historical facts that show you who you are.
Now in my 50’s I’ve never felt more like me in my life.
Let those voices that swirl around your head constantly trying to get you to believe that who you are is not social, successful, or dynamic enough, go. Let them go find some other emotional debris to stir up. Root yourself firmly in the truth and you will see that are good enough. You have always been.
Let’s be right here, right now. This moment. Where you are not thinking about what you were told in the past or who you could be in the future. Feel your feet, look around you, close your eyes and look inside. Give yourself a moment to take the pressure off, and just be, and know that you are enough.
“You are you. Now, isn’t that pleasant?”
Dr. Seuss
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