Sometimes we hold on…
for the sake of holding on. At one point what we held on to made us feel good. And that becomes our yardstick. Blinded to the truth we hold on much too tightly. In the end that becomes all that matters; that we have something to hold on to.
We learn to disregard everything that might weaken our grasp.
Excuse #1: I will ignore the problem. This will show them that I don’t hold a grudge. I let go of our issues easily. I’m easy going.
The ones who want us to overlook, not make a deal of, or forgive everything they do that disrespects or diminishes us in any way with actions or words is using our lack of belief and trust in ourselves to hide what they are doing.
We know that if the tables were turned, they would be gone in a flash.
No Two Friendships Are Alike
Excuse #2: I’ll let go of their comments about other people, women in particular. This will show them that I am not a jealous person. That I can be their friend.
No two friendships are alike.
There are many different gender identities. People have different interests, cultures, backgrounds, goals, and preferences. We are drawn to people like us or to opposites. Good friendships are positive and inspiring.
Friends develop their own ways of communicating. They create traditions and can agree on what is fun and what is not.
Obviously, the meaning of friendship gets all jumbled up when romance is introduced. Romance or not, true friendship counts on the following: Friends can trust one another with their thoughts, feelings, and opinions. True friends have your back.
And this last one, which is most important, friends know your heart and what can and will hurt you. If they know it hurts you, and hurt you, that is not a friend.
Someone Who Truly Loves You
Excuse #3: If I give them the best of everything, putting my needs aside, they will eventually see that I am the best.
Someone who loves, values, and respects you as a person will not feel comfortable allowing you to set your needs aside for theirs.
They will not want you to agree with their views without asserting your own.
And they won’t feel comfortable if they decide everything for the both of you without your input or expressive will for or against it.
You have a voice for a reason.
“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”
Maya Angelou
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