We all begin…
whole then little by little our confidence is chipped away. This can be deliberate, subtle, or well-intended, either way it is damaging.
Sometimes our parents or guardians teach us lessons that they have learned about themselves from their upbringing that have nothing to do with you. Their experiences and traumas often affect how you move through the world only becoming aware of it when you hear your father’s words come out of your mouth or someone says, “you’re just like your mom.”
We all want to be our own person. And as soon as we are away from our parents physically, we realize that there’s more to it than just moving away. We learn that we have been shaped emotionally as well. Once out there in the world we are the first ones to put limits on ourselves based on someone else’s beliefs that we have unknowingly brought with us.
Belief
Confidence must come from a place of belief. A belief that you know you are worthy, and deserving, and sufficient. And if you’re a little scared to let your light shine, you do it anyway.
Then there is acting confidently. Putting on an act, showing others who we think we should be or who we think they want us to be for them to like, love, or approve of us.
Acting confidently is about misdirection. After the initial confusion that this causes, you will eventually be found out by anyone who is paying attention. You can say or do all you want, but your true motivations always bleed through.
Real confidence is built on not just what you say or do, but why. Find your triggers. Understand what can floor you or motivate you in a split second. These triggers show what you truly believe about who you are, who you can be, and what you are capable of in your life.
Passed on Throughout the Generations
That’s when true change happens. When you ask yourself if you are you, or the person that you were molded to become. You begin to observe your actions, hear the words coming out of your mouth, and search out their origins. Do you find yourself asking why did I say that? That’s a clue to pay attention. A clue to investigate your history and the history that came before.
That’s what I did in my early thirties. I questioned why I felt confident in my abilities but didn’t feel worthy of everything I earned because of it. It was hard for me to feel joy at my accomplishments. Why did it feel normal to not celebrate myself?
And although I was very humble, my family saw my desire to experience things beyond them as being big headed. The idea that I was not enough was instilled in me early on. I was not smart enough, told I was not pretty enough, hinted that I was not special enough. Beliefs that had been nurtured and passed on throughout the generations.
Parents should want their children to be more, accomplish more, have more than they had. That is not always the case.
You
One person’s beauty, success, accomplishments do not dim another’s. We do that to ourselves. On the contrary, another’s light should inspire, motivate, and encourage our own personal growth.
We have bought into the belief that only people who look a certain way are special, valuable, and worthy. The other side of that belief is that since we don’t look like them, we must be worthless.
Part of the human experience is to wake up and understand that what you think and believe about yourself is yours to decide.
We believe in so many invisible things in this world with one hundred percent conviction, why is it so hard to believe in the one thing that we see, feel, hear, taste, know, and love every day?
You.
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
Marcus Aurelius
Leave a Reply