Well, this is it…
my last post on this topic. It has been a year since I started this blog. It’s been a long time coming. I feel a little lighter without dragging the past behind me, forcing it to come along.
Almost three decades since the inception of his words. Not wasted, because of all I’ve learned. Yet I can’t help but wonder where I would be if I had gotten here a little sooner. Which is pointless, really, because no matter what I would or would not have chosen I’d be exactly wherever I was. Lol.
And in the spirit of letting go of the past that includes entertaining ideas about who or what I could have become. Because no matter what, I’m here and I am who I am.
Okay, now that I can feel my feet beneath me, I ask myself where do I want to go from here?
Before I Jump
Before I jump, I feel the need to say that I am not perfect. I have many negative days. Sometimes, I’m grumpy and mad at the world. But each day seems to get better the more I practice gratitude, forgiveness, and positivity. Thank you, meditation apps.
My marriage has improved in some respects however, some things will never change and that’s what I grapple with when I question my choices. In those moments I try to look inward and question myself. Easier than it sounds. Looking in the figurative mirror doesn’t always reflect something pleasing.
I hope someone out there has benefited from my words. I hope eyes have been opened, hearts have been healed even just a little bit. That has been my only purpose since the beginning. After all, I have learned so much from other people sharing their stories and insights.
Change and Growth
I want to say that I would like to dig even deeper, because I feel like this whole blog was on the surface.
Although my husband must take part of the blame and responsibility for where we arrived, for me to experience real change, I must accept that I’m here because of my choices, my decisions, and most importantly my complacency.
Change and growth are an individual quest.
I know that wherever I go it will be a place where, when I leave, because life is always moving, I am a little better, wiser, calmer, more informed, educated, and enlightened on the subject that is me.
Wherever this blog leads next, I will go.
“Do not fear to take chances. When it is making headway, a boat may rock.”
Chinese Proverb
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