My daughter gave me…
some balloons for my recent birthday and mixed in with the Happy Birthday’s and heart and star shaped balloons was one that said, “Welcome Back.”
Hmmm, a message from the Universe? She had no idea how that one got in there, Lol.
Unbeknownst to my family I had been away. I was lost in the day-to-day of taking care of a family member who was injured in a car accident. I was their primary care giver.
At first, I was immersed in the task. Tending to wounds, making the calls, transporting the patient to doctor’s appointments. As well as taking care of the household, running errands, making the meals, and so much more. Needless to say, I was exhausted.
I thought I was okay and then a couple of months into this reality, I just burst into tears. And because I was needed, I quickly pulled myself together and carried on.
Filling My Own Cup
A few days after that my daughter asked me, “How are you doing, Mom?” and then I told her about feeling overwhelmed and how exhausted I was. And in that moment I realized that what was bothering me most was that I was not filling my own cup sufficiently. I say this because although I was writing, it was not every day, not enough to feel balanced.
So, I began stealing away and writing for five, twenty, thirty minutes at a time. Whatever I could get away with throughout the day. I was renewed.
I realized that I had abandoned myself in order to give my all. But how could I give my all if I wasn’t all there??
Helping others is a trapeze act. Everything required of you is at either end. You are the one flying through the air from side to side to tend, provide, and aid.
The net is a reprieve.
The only way to get to a place where you can take care of yourself is to let go. Whether that be to just lay there and breathe or jump off for a minute. This is where you can provide for yourself whatever that means to you. Then climb back up the ladder to the platform and when you’re ready, jump.
Nothing Is Nonstop
Taking a minute for yourself is not surrendering or quitting. It’s knowing that nothing is nonstop. Everything must come to an end in order to begin again, including people. Once renewed you are free to start over from right where you are.
You can’t help anyone if you are emotionally falling apart. What’s next is becoming physically ill because you’re not taking care of yourself. Resentfulness will follow and, in this state, you will be unable to take care of anyone, not even yourself.
Give yourself the time and energy you reserve for others. Provide the loving care that you need so that you will be physically and emotionally able to provide for others.
Conversely, if you feel unable to help yourself, it is an act of self-love to ask for help.
Learning to receive teaches you how to give.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
Buddha
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