There will always be…
a task to complete, chores to do, responsibilities, obligations, that require to-do lists, plans, time, and effort to complete. Checking off those boxes is very satisfying indeed.
Ever notice how much better you can think when your personal space is tidy?
It’s the same when something is on your mind.
Let’s call it mind clutter and emotional hoarding. Both need to be cleared away as well. When your emotional and mental health has been addressed, your outer space becomes more peaceful as well.
The easiest way to de-clutter your mind is to write in a journal. Write it all down and get it out of your head.
I read somewhere, years ago, that the only one holding on to socially awkward, embarrassing, even shameful things that you said or did in your near or distant past, is you. Everyone else has forgotten. Let it go or re-frame it; adjust your mindset.
Re-framing
I’ve found that when I take something that I’m obsessing with and look at it as if I’m someone else, a close friend preferably, it takes the importance away. A friend would say oh don’t worry about that, it wasn’t as bad as you think.
And “poof” it disappears from your memory or will with continued re-framing. Once out of your mind then off your shoulders.
De-cluttering your heart? Journaling is effective but sometimes saying it out loud is what you need. Just keep in mind that whomever you decide to reveal your heart to may not be capable of the kind of communication that you need. Think long and hard before you decide how and with whom you will work out your feelings.
What if it was something you did or said? Talk to that person. Tell them you want to clarify what you did or said, that you didn’t mean to offend or hurt them, and to your surprise they either won’t remember or say that they didn’t receive it how you imagined they did.
Say It Out Loud
Saying it out loud to yourself works just as well.
Not organizing or purging your thoughts? That’s where that lump in your throat comes from. Once you unburden yourself, you will instantly feel better. Harder because sometimes our truth is someone else’s mirror, and some people will not be happy with you for showing them their reflection.
Speaking from your heart is what those that love you want you to do: gently, with tact, and forethought. Your feelings are always valid. However, if you’re upset because someone you love is not doing or saying what you think they should do or say perhaps you should have a conversation with yourself first. Find out why it’s bothering you in the first place. And then proceed.
The clearer you are on why something is upsetting you before you have that conversation will encourage a likely resolution.
The following phrase instantaneously cuts me to the quick “sounds like a you problem” because it takes the other person’s accountability away. Or it might be the absolute truth.
But at the end of the day, you are the one who chooses to live with what you live with. You choose what is acceptable and not acceptable for you in your life.
Let Go of All the Extra Stuff
So, if someone is doing or saying things that you don’t like, you can leave. I’m sorry to say this but it is your problem. This person taking accountability is not something that you decide they need to do. You have absolutely no control over any other person save yourself.
Ouch. That one hurt me too. But just a little. Since I have accepted that someone else’s action/inaction is not in my control, my to-do list has gotten bigger.
Why is that you ask?
When you’re worried about another person’s decisions, actions, coming and goings, you have put your own life in the archives. You have stopped living. You have placed it in the past while chronicling someone else’s life waiting for that person to want to make you, the center of their life. If you aren’t already, sorry, there’s a great chance that you never will be.
Let go of all the extra stuff that has become outdated, dusty, and just taking up valuable space in your head. It takes organization to live your own life, tell your own story, write your own history.
“Whatever difficulties you have had in the past, you can make a fresh start today.”
Buddha
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