Everything changes,
time marches on, time waits for no one, blah blah blah. We all know this. Yet why are we puzzled when, having built up some momentum in our lives, the world sticks out a leg and trips us up?
You might chalk it up as coincidence. Maybe a sign that you are on the wrong path. Or a test to see if you really want what you say you want.
And as I’ve said before when everything is great enjoy every moment because it will change and when things are not so great, hold on, they will get better.
Well, it’s been about four years since our youngest moved out. The peace and quiet is so beautiful. I am very appreciative of the time and space that I have particularly in the first part of day to write and think.
I really enjoy being alone in my home and although I wouldn’t mind having more of it (solitude), I have made it work.
Enter the leg.
My daughter lives in a town that is about an hour away. Ever since she moved, she has expressed the desire to move back. She has been applying for jobs where she lives but also in other cities.
Well, there is a very good chance that she will be hired within a week or two for a job that is located about an hour away from my home. Two hours from her current residence.
If she is hired, my daughter has asked my husband and I if she, her husband, and three kids, can move back in until they get everything figured out.
A Big House Is Like a Owning a Truck
When you own a truck, everybody wants to borrow it to move anything and everything.
When you have a big house, with an extra room or two, everybody wants to move in or use the rooms like a free Airbnb. Not to mention to celebrate all holidays and birthday parties at your house.
My husband and I have learned to politely say no thanks to any suggestions of using our home. We guard our space fiercely and prefer to go to your house for your party and then back to our clean and noise-free home.
We have the means to help. However, my issue is that I will be the one to do school drop off and pick-ups. Also, be the primary care giver to the youngest which is just under two years of age.
Initially, at her asking, I was ready to mourn my freedom. I instantly felt resentful and a little angry. Recognizing that I was falling into a past behavior which is to take on the martyr role I quickly shared my concerns with my daughter instead.
I asked her if she realized exactly what she was asking of me: to give up my freedom of choice. I would be in charge of one to three children from sunup to sundown.
It’s an understatement to say that it would be a major change for me.
It Takes a Village
Yes, I agree, it does take a village to raise children. However, I have raised my children as well as helped immensely with my grandchildren.
The freedoms that I currently enjoy are not ones that I will easily surrender. Not to mention that I am resistant to change. My introverted nature dictates that solitude and quiet are necessary for me to function effectively.
I read in a writer’s magazine that writers are more productive when they have limited pockets of time. The reason being that having unlimited time leads to procrastination and distraction. I can relate. However, since the inception of this blog, I have never been more on task than ever before.
And when I say that I will no longer have the freedom to write whenever I please, that is true. The question is can I find time to write if my day-to-day is flipped on its head?
Re-framing the Situation
Yes, theoretically I can find time to write. I just have to adapt, quickly, to the new situation if that is indeed what happens.
There was never a question whether I would say yes or no. I will do what I can keeping in mind that this is temporary. Children do grow up. And we will have made many happy memories together in the meantime.
I can write when the little one naps and, in the evenings, when their parents get home. Granted, I will need some noise canceling headphones, Lol. And because I must write, I will make this work.
The other day I went with my husband to a nearby golf range. A few shots in he noticed a ladybug on the hitting mat in the space between his shoes and the ball. Once securing it on his finger and then transferring it to my finger he continued his practice.
I quickly realized that one of the ladybug’s wings was damaged. So, I gently placed him on a little patch of grass. The ladybug continued its journey. However, as he traveled, I noticed something familiar.
Upon approaching a blade of grass, the ladybug did not simply go around. He traveled up the blade to the top and down again on the other side.
I have seen this a million times as a child but this time it hit me profoundly. I thought to myself, “I see you ladybug, I’m making things harder for myself too”.
“Habit is habit and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed downstairs a step at a time.”
Mark Twain
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