Everything that I have…
shared, every piece of advice I have given, I have learned and applied to my own life.
I see what is right in front of me, I do. Not another word has to be uttered for me to have clarity. If I seem to be letting something slide it’s intentional. I am strategic in how I use my energy.
I keep silent, choose my battles. My experience is all internal and all my own. And although I am focused on what is happening on the inside I try not to forget to experience the outside world in a way that doesn’t forget to be kind to myself.
Yes, there are times when I am not the best version of myself. Forgiving oneself, learning your lesson, and moving on is part of that equation.
There is no such thing as perfection.
Define Settling
What is settling? One definition is to reach a decision or an agreement about something.
We, my husband, and I, have come to an agreement to live under the same roof as two separate people. It’s working so far. I already feel a sense of relief. If I could speak for him, I’d say we both are happier not expecting so much from the other.
Then there is settling: to choose or accept something or someone that you do not want because there is nothing else.
I never thought of myself as settling, it felt like more of a challenge. I was trying to change this man into someone that would love me in a way that would give me the validation and permission to love myself.
When I finally learned that all that was unnecessary because I already possessed all the love that I needed, his love became secondary. Furthermore, if I was suddenly single, I would not search out another relationship.
All that I am concerned with now is to continue nurturing a relationship with myself.
There is so much that I have yet to discover about myself. I know this because emotions still get the best of me. I’m still searching ever deeper. And if I should feel that I’ve arrived, I know that that’s when I will be tested and will have more work to do.
I hope if there is anything to come out of this it is that we develop at the very least a friendship.
Sharing What I Have Learned
It is a privilege to share what I have learned.
I am not so arrogant to think that I know better, or that only I can help others. Having said that, sharing life’s lessons with one another improves everybody. I have learned so much from others sharing their everyday experiences and epiphanies.
From the outside it may appear as if my advice hasn’t turned my own life on its head (because I’m still here) Don’t judge a book by its cover, inside I am a new person.
I enjoy walking in my own space now more than ever before. I have struggled with that my whole life being taught that life was about finding someone whose space you were born to complement.
Not realizing that if I was busy serving another who expected only that from me there would be nothing left for myself.
Within my own space is where I will find everything that I need.
The Makings of a Person
The makings of a person are vast and contain a multitude of moving parts.
We are at once unique and similar. When observing others sometimes it’s like we are looking at our own lives because just like children there are “milestones” that we all experience as humans.
For example, most of us have experienced a broken heart, bullying, betrayal, an awakening when it comes to self-love, and so much more.
The negatives are just as important to a person as the positives as they mold, shape, and test us in ways that help us to grow and improve.
The losses in my life have taught me to fight, to trust my inner voice, and that I have the power to save myself.
In a perfect world traumatic events wouldn’t exist. What else can we do but wring out any lessons learned in the end about people, the world, and ourselves.
All I can do now is hope that by sharing what I have learned that I have, even in the smallest of measurements, made a difference.
We are more alike than different, yes?
“Sorrows remembered sweeten present joy.”
Robert Pollok
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