We look to others…
for many things. Help with homework, advice, ideas, a ride, Lol.
But the one thing that we yearn for from others is to inspire us to be better, to do better.
Regardless of the stage we are at in our lives, our age, or background positive examples from our closest friends to complete strangers are what keeps hope alive that most of us are trying to make our planet a better place by these small acts.
A Split Second
Recently, a friend and I went to a fast-food restaurant. We placed our order, found a table, and waited. The lady behind the counter waved me over when our food was ready, and my companion then went to retrieve our order.
Once at the counter I heard my friend say, “I ordered curly fries,” in a very calm voice. Then in an accusatory tone the employee responded, “No you didn’t.” This response caused my friend to fire back not so nicely.
They were both triggered in that split second. Both bothered by something unrelated and taking it out on whomever was ready for a fight as well.
Thankfully, the cashier that originally helped us came out of nowhere, and my friend and him confirmed that curly fries had indeed been ordered.
A Little Spark
She then slid the tray over to my friend saying, “Next time thirty cents more,” referring to the extra cost for curly fries. My companion responded, “Next time get the order right.”
Now, going over exactly what happened once he got back to our table, we deduced that it was the cashier who made the error.
I knew instinctively in that moment that fueling his anger would just take a little spark on my part. So, I talked about other things to distract him.
He calmed down, we ate our food and left.
They Were Both in Their Heads
Now, first of all, I understood completely. Something similar has happened to me but in my situation, I immediately sought out the one who took my order. And I’m not saying that I handled it better. I’m just saying that in any situation it’s best to operate from where you are standing.
As opposed to taking on the other party’s anger and letting it strengthen yours. Neither one of them was aware of their own words and tone. They were both in their heads as opposed to being where they were at.
Thirty Seconds
And it must be said that I have experienced the opposite: Letting someone trigger my anger and control my reactions like a puppet on a string.
After my experience, I walked away extremely disappointed in myself. This person, this stranger, that I gave an opportunity to have power over me was gone in all of thirty seconds.
I vowed to do better going forward. And I understood my friend, no judgment. But I was a little disappointed in him too. I wanted him to do better, for me. Is that selfish? I wanted to see and experience someone rising above because I understand how hard it can be sometimes.
My friend confirming the order with the cashier first would have put the emotional energy back in the employee’s court.
Trying to understand her side I told him this probably happens all the time, people trying to get extra food without paying for it. That was her frustration. She should have kept it.
The Aftermath
We are all in the same boat making good choices and sometimes not the best ones.
All we have is next time.
Trying to stay present is helpful, but our unconscious beliefs, triggers, and habits have so much power.
Bring them out into the light.
We’re all works in progress.
“Bend like the willow and you can never be uprooted.”
Yoshida Kenko (1283-c.1351), Japan
Leave a Reply