Let’s get real…
about what it is like for a grand parent to be the primary babysitter for their grand kids.
Being a grandparent is supposed to be easier. All the fun without the responsibility, right.
I once saw an elderly lady, well into her seventies, struggling to enter a doctor’s office waiting room. On her arm was a car seat with what looked like a four-month-old.
Obviously, she was the babysitter.
I was a little thrown back. What son or daughter would expect their elderly mother to babysit for eight to ten hours?
Smh (shaking my head)
They Seek You Out
Do your kids realize that while you are taking care of their kids you are not taking care of yourself?
Exercise, leisure, sleep, doctor’s appointments come to a standstill. Even the thought of juggling, coordinating, and planning for a simple activity takes so much energy that you often abandon the notion all together.
It’s everything like being a parent with the added element of you being their best friend.
They seek you out. They are not aware of, nor do they understand the concept of boundaries. So, when you say, “Nana needs a minute,” it’s foreign to them.
There is no pause button. Sometimes feelings get hurt.
Asking for Help
When you feel like you can do anything, asking for help is something you are not likely to do.
Resist the urge to stay strong.
I was really overwhelmed after the first week of taking care of my grandkids. Next to tears, exhausted, and a little passive aggressive.
A friend took one look at my face and asked, “What’s wrong?”
I struggled to hold back tears. She said sharing would make me feel better. So, I said how I was feeling in as little words as possible, kept the tears at a minimum because of my makeup, and felt a little better.
Her advice? “Stop fighting and accept what is. It’s easier to see the blessings of what is when you are not wishing for what was or what could be.”
Feeding Your Soul
Taking care of kids is the most rewarding and most difficult job in the world.
Taking care of grandkids has the added element of you being older and let’s face it, not as physically able with a little less energy.
I thought it would be easier if I could fill my cup first but there is a difference between filling your cup and feeding your soul.
Filling your cup is doing the things that take care of your body and your environment. Like getting in a shower for the day. Or a little housework before the kids wake up.
Feeding your soul is satisfying your mental and creative urges. Like working on your small business. Or doing something artistic. This includes physical activity like working out or meditating.
If you can’t find the time to do these things on your own, and there is no one to relieve you for an hour or so, you just might have to incorporate the kids into your activities. Provided they are kid friendly of course.
Being Honest
Remember, taking care of your grandkids rearranges, delays, and pauses your personal life. It does not end it.
Be where you are right now. Before you know it, they’ll be grown up and you will be looking back on this stressful, no sleep, chaotic, fun, heartwarming, unpredictable period of your life with a smile.
If you are going to survive it, you must ask for help, assistance, an ear. And if you can’t do it? Say so. There is always a solution to be found.
The hardest part is being honest. Things can be taken the wrong way. Sometimes others don’t understand your point of view until they are at the same stage in their lives.
It is not your obligation to make sure everyone understands where you are coming from.
Your life is your life. Period.
“In our lives, change is unavoidable, loss is unavoidable. In the adaptability and ease with which we experience change lie our happiness and freedom.”
Buddha
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